Emotional Intelligence: What I’ve Learned

I’ve been trying to find ways to increase my motivation, thinking of things in a more positive light and most importantly -being happier. I knew this book would help me get back on track when I first picked it up. Here are a few things I learned from it: .

 

Number 1: Know Thyself

Over the years, I’ve slowly started tracking days when I might feel more emotional. Events that might get my emotions to rise up in me or what things might have caused me to just feel bad about myself.

In the first part of this book, it gives a test showing were someone’s emotional strengths might lie. Please note that the test wasn’t long and its really only given so whoever takes it can have a broad understanding of themselves.

I think knowing what your emotional state is -even in a broad sense- can allow us to find ways to improve upon ourselves. We can’t improve if we don’t know what to improve on. 

Number 2: Being Positive About Setbacks

Even now I can still get discouraged, even if the smallest setback happens in my life. Fortunately, for the most part I don’t have to start over entirely with some of the work that I’ve done. However, sometimes that does happen and this books helps to show some positive thoughts to have even when things like that occur. Such as seeing them a as temporary event. Somtimes I’ll get so wrapped up in a mistake that I feel like its going to haunt me forever. Now I’ve slowly come to realize that it can only haunt me if I allow it to. 

Number 3: Balancing Stress

My junior year of high school was hard, as soon as I got home from school, I’d go straight to work a half hour later. With school hours included I spent 50 hours Monday through Friday either at school or at work. This does not include the weekends or the time I had to spend on homework. It was awful, sometimes I’d come home crying because I just didn’t really have time to do anything.

I overloaded on work again during my first semester of college. Hours upon hours, studying, working, volunteering, doing chores around the house, cooking for myself. Luckily this time I made sure I had at least one hour to myself each day. However, I think I still put in a lot more than I wanted to.

This book discussed having just the right amount of stress and I think I’ve finally started to find a good balance.

Number 4: Repression

An average day of me doing math homework as a third grader would be my dad yelling at me for not understanding something. I would yell back of course -being an eight year old girl. He would ask me if I was stupid and we would continue to yell at each until I eventually stomped off to my room after I’d had enough. We weren’t allowed to be angry, -but he was? I’ve dreaded math ever since those days and in high school I never asked him for help even if I knew I needed it.

It’s much worse when my family is yelling at my brother and I’m supposed to stay in my room like its supposed to be some kind of discipline for him. Its not, honestly every time they yelled at me when I was little, I would go upstairs, curl up into a ball, cry, and wish I was dead.

This book reminded me that its okay if I feel angry and no one else should tell me otherwise. It’s not okay to act on that anger -in most cases. Instead I’ve learned to try to leave the situation and just let it pass through me.

Why I think this book is important to read:

I think emotional intelligence sets the foundation for learning. No one can learn without the discipline to listen. I’ve noticed that only certain people have been successful in schools -people with good families who work hard and try to get there kids to do the same. And kids who might find success hard -people with families who neglect them and don’t even really take care of themselves to begin with.

If emotional intelligence isn’t being taught, then how are kids supposed to branch off into other things?