This is my life.
Not a story.
Not a dream.
Not a ploy to get attention.
This is for those who have been hurt this way.
For those who don’t make the call cause they feel they even if someone is taken to prison that person they still won’t fucking change.
We are not normal people, but people who have been broken.
People that don’t stop things for getting worse because the don’t care about themselves.
They don’t care about what people do to them and just because they allow it that doesn’t make it right for other people to take advantage of them.
My boyfriend and I had driven a long way to get to his friend’s house. When we arrived we had a lot of fun. We played jackbox, board games, and VR. They had drinks and on the second night we had a small party where I watched my boyfriend goof off with all his friends. Everything was great and for the first time in a while I learned that these were people I could trust. I thought the really bad points of my life were over -until I got a text.
It was one of my exes friends -whose name and gender I won’t identify. Telling me how sad my ex was and that it might be better for him if I hung out with him to give him, ‘closure.’ Giving him a fucking list of things that he did to me and cutting him completely out my life was my fucking closure. I told them I didn’t want to contact him and I put my phone away. Then we watched vines, played some more jackbox and then all of us went to sleep.
In the morning, my boyfriend would hold me and we would cuddle until everyone else woke up. I talked to him about who had texted me last night and he told me it would probably be a good idea to block them too -since I had already blocked my ex on everything. He held my hand and that’s really when a lot of bad moments in my life came flooding back to me. Moments where my ex would take my hand and put it on his dick -without asking me if that was something I wanted to do. It wasn’t extreme, but it enough to make someone feel like their opinion doesn’t matter.
I’ve told my current boyfriend about my past relationships and I have no logical reason to believe that he would hurt me. However, whenever someone I’m intimate with holds my hand I’m hesitant. And right after that text I was even more hesitant than I was before. I think my boyfriend might have noticed that too, but we had slept in the living room of his friends house so there wasn’t enough privacy for me to want to talk about it with him.
I ended up unfriending all his friends and blocking their texts. I didn’t want them to guilt trip me like he had so he could get what he wanted out of me. And after the text I felt that if I ever felt threatened by him again they wouldn’t defend me -its happened before to another woman. I haven’t really told them my side of the story, but with other incidents that have happened I don’t think it should be surprising to them. Not to mention that I don’t really want to because some of them I made me feel just as uncomfortable as he has.
Stop being sad about something that was your own fault and fucking own up it and change. I’m so tired of people trying to make me feel bad for them when they don’t deserve it.
Prompt: write about something real