My family has used fear to control me for quite some time. I must fear God and not question anything he says. I must remain dependent on them for another decade because I’m not making enough money even though I’ve gotten a better job that could sustain me. What they have taught has me made feel like I’m walking on egg shells, and it just persuades to not do anything in my life.
Parents need to stop using fear to get their kids to do what they want. Let them make mistakes, let them make their own decisions. Hovering over them isn’t going to encourage them to do anything. Let them have choices and don’t insult them if those choices are different than yours.
I had a conversation with my parents recently about renting an apartment while my boyfriend built the house we wanted. My parents were quick to tell me that it would be a waste of money and literally gave me a list of all the things I would have to worry about if I ever rented an apartment -without saying any pros about it. When I told them that I understood and that I wasn’t going to just rent out the first one I saw. My dad said, “well I guess you know everything then.” This statement hurt so much, I respected what they said to me, but the were being hypocritical when they said they would support my decision to leave.
Now I just don’t enjoy having discussions about my life with them anymore. If they’re just going to give me a list of all the bad things that could happen to me if I try to do something on my own then I don’t want to hear it. I’m trying to not be a burden to them and move on, but its almost like they want me dependent on them forever and I hate that.
I want to be independent and live on my own without using my parents money. I want to understand what that means. I can’t learn to live on my own if my parents continue to persuade me to be scared of everything. I don’t want to be scared anymore, if I make a few mistakes then so be it. I’m young and I’ll have time to fix it. I don’t want to live my life being too afraid to do anything.
Have you had parents like this? If not then in what ways have your parents helped you or not helped you?