Scared To Spend

For the longest time, I would save every penny I was given. Birthday money, Christmas money, pet sitting, work money etc. I kept telling myself, I need to have emergency money -so I kept saving.

Now I’m at a point where I could probably get away with spending more. However, the habit to save is still with me. Even after I’ve saved up quite a bit, I hardly ever went to go buy books or treat myself to a decaf coffee. I was so afraid that I would need the money, so I just kept saving it. It’s not that I’m trying to convince myself saving is bad -it’s a really good idea that can save us some stress. It’s just that sometimes I’ll save so much to the point where I’m just not enjoying myself anymore. Since I still live at home, my saving has been more like spending twenty percent -and saving the rest. I still plan to save, but I think it’s time I used some of my money to take on other responsibilities like buying my own food, paying for my car insurance, and once my needs are met, maybe spending some money on books.

I will probably still try to cut down on costs, by making my own food, buying books at half price, and seeing how short I can make a list of ingredients while still eating food that tastes good.

I still can’t help, but cringe sometimes when I find things that are a lot more expensive than what I thought they would be. Why is gluten-free pasta four times the cost of regular pasta? Why is one string of vanilla bean almost ten dollars? I used to think it’s for the best that I avoided high priced foods. However, sometimes it could come at the cost of my health so hopefully once I get used to it, I’ll find a good balance.