Sunday Reflection

I’ve been trying my best to do yoga every Sunday. Its helped me take some time to mediate and reflect on my week. A lot has happened since I’ve made more serious posts. I’ve gotten comfortable with the job I’ve had, I’ve learned a lot of new skills and I’ve been trying to work on my mental health.

I work a lot, and I’ve come to realize that hard work doesn’t always make us wealthily. Yes, I do get a paycheck, but am I passionate about what I do? Do I like that at times I’m working six days a week?

I’ve learned that doing a mind numbing job can help to pay the bills, but it doesn’t make my life as great as I would want it to be. I want to find something I’m passionate about, something that makes me want to get up every day.

I’ve found writing to be one of those things. However, I haven’t always been consistent and I realize that I have so much to work on. I’m currently reading a book on how to write better and I hope that it will help make my posts more meaningful. I’ve used this blog to rant, to write random topics and sometimes stuff that just doesn’t even make sense.

I want that to change.

Doing yoga has helped to clear my head and its lead me to work on my mental health. I’ve noticed a lot about my relationship with myself and others. I’ve worked at jobs that don’t hardly pay me anything because I think I deserve it. I work mind numbing jobs because I don’t think I’m smart enough to do any better. I’ve also hurt other people and sometimes I have a hard time forgiving myself for it. Sometimes I get mad at myself for things that shouldn’t even be a big deal.

My relationship with my parents has been tense at times. They helped me a lot financially, but sometimes they can be emotionally abusive. I never knew the term emotional abuse until I stumbled across it on a facebook post. I’ve found that many parents feel that as long as they didn’t leave a psychical scar on their kid they did a good  job. However, we have so many scars that are hidden inside us and sometimes they take years for us to get rid of them.

I don’t completely blame my family for all the bad things that have happened in my life. I’m an adult now, so from now on, I know that whatever happens is on me. Now that I’ve become more mature, I’ve finally had the guts to tell my family how I really feel. And luckily for me, it went a lot better than I expected.

Even so, I know this journey to improving myself will be rocky, but I hope that despite this, I’ll be a better person than I was before.