I’m Judging You: Book Discussion

I finished I’m Judging You by Luvvie Ajayi. I found it funny and thought provoking. However, there was some stuff I disagreed with. I did find myself agreeing with her on some topics too. Like how far people go to look better and how some people will do anything for fame. But since she’s a christian and I’m an atheist I do disagree with some things that are ideology related as well as a few other topics. I’m going to write some questions about this book down below. Feel free to answer in the comments below:

Are the lengths people are going to look good to extreme? For example, getting plastic surgery? Or getting out butts bleached?

I think some of them are pretty extreme. I don’t ever want plastic surgery and no one could pay me enough to get anything bleached down there. I think we need to learn to love ourselves instead of using all this stuff as a way to make us feel better. I don’t really care if other people do it, I just hope they’re doing it for the right reasons. They should do it for themselves if they want, but they shouldn’t do it because other people told them to.

In the book also discusses fat shaming. How do you feel about fat shaming? Do you think it is okay to bully someone into losing weight? Do you think bigger women need more fashion options?

I don’t think that using negativetivity helps anyone. I think that we need to encourage people to take care of themselves in a positive way. By allowing ourselves to have a really high fat ratio we hurt ourselves. Daily tasks will probably be a lot harder with all of dragging people down, quite literally. I don’t say this to be mean, I say this because I want to make everyone’s lives easier. Some of that are obese can’t even take care of their own basic needs now and its honestly super sad and depressing. I don’t want that for anyone.  As for bigger women needing more fashion options, I’d think the fashion industry would do it —but they would need to spend more money on clothes. Its takes more material to make stuff for larger people, that’s kind of just how it is. I think we’d just end up hurting the fashion industry if we asked them to put the same price tag on something that use triple the material. Doing so just wouldn’t make sense businesswise, to make it work they’d probably have to lessen the quality of it. I’m not saying this to be mean, I’m saying this from a business person’s perspective.

In her book, she talks about how women lower there standards for men. She also discusses how pretty women will be with men who are fat and don’t take care of themselves. She also wonders why there not many movies about fat women getting the guy. However, there’s a lot of movies about fat men getting the pretty girl. Do you think a lot of women lower their standards? Do you think its okay for men to not want a fat women?

I do think a lot of women lower their standards for men. I lot of them date bums how don’t hardly do anything. I think I read a study once too that showed women more likely to stay wit partners who were in jail than men. However, I think that what attracts women to men and men to women is different. And in a traditional relationship its for good reason. Women get child support even when their husbands are in jail. Men don’t get any benefits if their partner is in jail so they don’t stay. A lot of women want men to take care of them, so a lot of them might date a guy who isn’t as good looking if that man can provide for them. As for what men want, a lot of people still want to have kids. So, men will look for a women(if they’re straight of course) who looks like she takes care of herself. Overweight women will have more c sections and more completions when it comes to having a kid, Therefore costing more money, time and effort. With men still being the bread winner in still a larger majority of relationships they don’t want to spend their money on that. Escpaillcally with the cost of living and child care getting higher. I think if people don’t want kids, and if they want to adopt that’s different. But I’m passionate about making sure kids have the best start in life so I will hold women to a higher standard when it comes to their health if they want a biological kid. I will also hold men or another women depending on the relationship to provide for her if any other complations still arise. Their is still risk involved in having a kid even if a women is healthy, women shouldn’t make their lives even harder by choosing not to take care of themselves.

Now with all that being said I do think all of need to look for the best relationship that we can have. Would should look for men that have jobs they’re passonate about and take care of themselves. But they also be aware that if they’re in a traditional relationship and they want kid. They need to be aware that even if the women is healthy there is still risk involved and he might become their only source of income if complacitons come into play. Men should look for women who also have a job their passionate about and are able to take care of themselves.

The author talks about how public schools are getting defunded by private schools. How do you feel about this? What do you think we should do to make education better?

I completely agreed with her when she talked about this. I was lucky to grow in a place that supported the public school that I went to. It was on of the top schools in Ohio for a little bit and I’m so glad I had the opportunity to go their. Every child deserves a chance at a good education. I don’t think private schools help us to achieve that.

In the book in the author states that only certain people can use certain words. For example, only black people can use the word nigger and only a women can call another women a bitch. Do you agree with this? Do you think certain words need to be censored?

In the chapter, Nobody Wins at the Feimeism Olypmics, the authors discusses abortions. ANf that men and politics need to stay out of women’s bodies. How do you feel about this? She also discusses how men are getting high hived just for being in their kids lives. Do you think men need to invest more time with their kids? In this same chapter, she dissucess how, “submission is not synonymous with obedience.” And that she’s undecided about whether she will take her husband’s last name. Do you think she can still be a christian and  agree with the statements she’s made? Do you think women should submit to their husbands and take their last name?

In her chapter on homophobia, the author talks about Levicatcus. She states that since most christians don’t follow half the rules in that part of the bible anyway, people shouldn’t be homophobic. How do you feel about homophobia? Why do you think christians ue the old testament so much if a lot them consider it completely useless now since Jesus scarficed himself in the new one?

In her chapter #fixitJesus she talks about megachurches. She states that, “far too many pastors are exploiting the very people they should be helping.” Do you agree with this? DO you think that megachurches ask for a lot from the people that are apart of it?

Yes, I absululetly agree. I’ve seen gaint statues of Jesus standing over a large pool of water next to some kind of memorial they can be seen on one of the highways near where I live. That statue in itself probably cost thousands upon thousands of dollars. During the time I went to church —which was in the process of turning into a megachurch— there were so many remodeledeling projects I wondered where they got all the money for it. It seemed liked every time a staff member left and a new one came in, they felt like they had to redo the place to give it a different vibe. Something that still kind of pisses me to this day is the church asking us to spend a small fortune on all these different trips. And remember, I was just a teenager when this happened. We still did vounter stuff, but we did those trips a lot more often. One mission trip was almost a thousand dollars to go on. And again this wasn’t a trip for adults, they were asking teens that had no money to begin with to go on these trips. I was working six days a week to get the money. originally planning to spend it all on this trip. I’m actually so glad I didn’t and left church, for good. All that money I made during high school barely paid for my first year of college —community college at that. Churches don’t take care of their own communities like they used to, I know a lot of smaller ones do. But with megachurches its seems like its all about showing off their money.

If there was one thing I would ask megachurches to stop doing it would be to stop exploiting the people who listen to them.


Some other parts of this book and parts I’ve already discussed, I might talk about in another post. There is so much in here that I want to talk about, but I’m afraid this post is getting a little too long. If you want to to discuss this more please feel free to let me know down below. And always feel free to answer this questions in the comments too!

Published by Athena Bocock

I am vegan and I like books and writing stories. Recently I've been enjoying romance and animal stories the most.

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