13 Things Mentally Strong Women Don’t Do: Book Discussion

Reading this book taught me a lot about myself. It taught me to be more aware of things that I do. I think that some of us judge people for reading self help books, and they think that the things that are discussed in this book are something that people need to just do instead of read about it. However, life just isn’t that simple. Many of us are constantly on a path of self destruction. We need books like these to help us gain a better undetstanding of ourselves and the steps it takes to get better. Most people won’t turn their life around at the drop of a dime. Changing takes time and patience. It takes courage and a will to want that change. There are so many factors that go into, “doing the thing that makes the most sense.” With that being said, I’m going to write the q and a down below. Feel free to answer them in the comments!

 

1. In the begining of the book, the author talks about the shoebox idea and that many people on social media only show the outside of their shoebox. Do you think this would be a good excerise for kids? Do you agree that most people only show the outside of their shoebox?

I do think the shoebox exercise would be good for kids. I think it can help them see what they want people to think verse what they really think of themselves. I do think a lot of people only show the outside of their shoebox and not many people want to show how they really feel inside. I think that a lot of us are afraid of being vulnerable.

2. The book discusses perfectism, what negative affects does this have on women? What do you think we should do to get over this fear?

I think that one of the negative effects of perfectionism is that is doesn’t allow us to make mistakes. We are all humans, and to do better I think that mistakes are a necessary part of life. To get over this fear, I think we need to learn to just go for it. We shouldn’t be worried about things being “perfect,” the first time around. Someone is always going to do better  and someone is always go to do worse. That’s just the way the life is, all that matters is that we are growing.

3. Many of us struggle with self doubt, which statement in the book do you relate to the most? What do you think you should do to overcome it?

I think the one statement I relate to the most is that I have trouble making decisions because I second guess whether or not I will actually be good at it. I think to overcome this, I have to learn to just go for things and try my best. If I didn’t achieve what I wanted to then I need to either try harder or do something else if I’m not happy with it.

4. One of the chapters talks about overthinking, in what ways does this affect young people the most? What should we do to overcome it? Do you think writing a worry journal would be helpful?

I think many young people struggle with things similar to Regina’s story. We look up people just to find dirt on them. We spend hours not just on people we know, but actors, musicians, etc trying to point out flaws and I don’t think that is healthy. I think to overcome this we need to focus on ourselves and if someone fucks us over its their fault for doing that. I think that writing in a worry journal could be helpful. However, I don’t do it right so instead of scheduling time for it I just write in it for hours and hours on a random day. I think scheduling time like the author said, is probably a lot better because doing what I did didn’t help.

5. How often do you put yourself in uncomfortable situtations? In what ways do you think it would be beneficial?

I don’t think I put myself in uncomfortable situations often. Most of my life, I just go to work and then go home. I do think I have done some things, like writing on this blog and starting yoga this year. Although I have been writing on here to the point where I’m pretty comfortable with it. I think it benefits us because it makes us do things we may have never thought we could do. I think it can help with depression because in some ways it allows us to be kids again. We get to experience new things and learn from them and I think that helps to keep us happy.

6. How much of a rule follower are you? In what ways does this set you back and in what ways does it help you?

I think that now I’m only really a rule follower when it comes to my job. I don’t like to set many limitations on myself. Especially after I decided to stop being chirstain. I think the only setback I have with this is that sometimes I’ll go out of my way to fit peoples rules when I don’t know them well.

7. When have you put someone down? What do you think we should do to prevent gossip?

I have many times, although most of it was targeted at my brother when I was younger. Even though I don’t always put people down verbally I think I do it often in my thoughts. I think one of the best ways to prevent gossip is to go to people and talk to them if you have a problem with them. And to try and get rid of the thoughts of putting someone down so we don’t do it verbally.

8. In what ways have you let other people limit you? How do you think we limit ourselves?

I let people limit me when they tell me how they don’t care about what I do. Or that I should do something else that brings in more money or go back to college. I think we limit ourselves by talking ourselves out of things that could really help us if we just gave it a chance.

9. What do we have to do as women to stop blaming ourselves? How do we get women out of bad situtaions and teach them that there are things in life that aren’t their fault?

I think a lot more women need to highten their self esteem. We are less likely to go to jail and more likely to actually take care of our kids so I don’t see why we’re so hard on ourselves. I think a lot of us put to much value in the opinions of asshole men who don’t really care about us. I’m not saying all men are bad, but women are more likely to be victims of domestic of abuse and men are usually the abusers. To get women out of these situations, we need to support when they need help and make sure they know they deserve better.

10. How can we learn to reinvent ourselves and accept change?

I think this is a hard question. For most of us, we struggle to change who we are. Sometimes we think of our life choices as part of our own identity and not something that is external. I think the best way to accept change is to try and create it ourselves through gaining different perspectives and analyzing the world around us. Then when unexpected change comes it will be easier because we’ve taught ourselves how to adapt to different situations.